Hey blog,
I guess it's been a really long time. i wonder why im even blogging anymore. but i guess i need to take my mind off stuffs, now and then. Anyway, i've been blogging here for a really long time now, since secondary school, and i am really glad i started this blog. Even though no one actually blogs nowadays, but really, this blog collects a huge load of memories from probably the most "yolo" part of my life.

Continuing from my previous post- actually, not really continuing. After that last post, something terrible happened. It was such a terrible and tragic thing, i am still so badly torn apart every single time i think of it.

My grandmother passed away.


It happened really abruptly. I couldnt even prepare for it, like, i wasnt able to mentally, as well as emotionally gear myself for it. It just happened. Her heart failed her while she was sleeping at night. I guess, on a brighter note, she passed away peacefully (i'd like to believe that).

She wasn't able to wait for me to graduate from university. She wasn't able to watch my brother enlist.

As if things weren't heart-wrenching enough, my grandfather started losing the battle with his stage 4 prostate cancer. He must have probably felt really lonely after grandma passed on.

I didnt finish my graduation trip in taiwan with keith ( we planned for so long and was supposed to stay there for a month, but we came home after 6 days). We weren't able to enjoy with grandpa in this stage.

I'm typing this post as he sleeps beside me. He is really weak now, probably he cannot even talk, and is even starting to forget me. it pains me a great deal, afterall, he loves me most, and so do i. sometimes i cry myself to sleep at night, watching him fall from grace is ripping my heart into a million shreds. i know, i know. it is part and parcel and such, but, i am about to lose my grandpa, after my grandma.. it seems so..

i dont know.

i've been running a lot to take my minds off stuffs. Ran everyday and my knees are starting to hurt real bad. I wish i could rewind, but then again, rewind to what? This end is inevitable.

I wish grandpa will be happy.

I wish they are both proud of me, because i am trying to go towards what they want me to be- a teacher..

i'll blog again soon. my thoughts are so fragmented right now..

byebyee