EILEEN LOO YI ZHEN;
Friday, November 30, 2007
8:13 PM
Horoscope.
Horoscope.
im too bored.
so here's my horoscope for today.
1st december 2007.
Your social circle is not drawn with a solid line -- there are perforations in the infrastructure, and there are quite a few leaks. Words are getting around that should not be getting around, and secrets will be spilled. There is only so much you can do to ensure confidentiality about things that are already stated -- it is totally out of your hands. So instead, focus on prevention. Choose your words wisely and do not say more than you absolutely have to.
Yes, it may seems silly. but i absolutely believe in it.
i need something to believe in at the moment.
im still hungry.
whats wrong with me?
i havent been so hungry since a long time ago.
sigh. is it good or bad?
i think im going out for some fresh air.
i dont like to coop myself at home everyday.
its bad for health.
i wish to visit an orphanage and volunteer my help and time there,
but my friends think im insane.
nobody is willing to go with me.
sigh.
):
so here's my horoscope for today.
1st december 2007.
Your social circle is not drawn with a solid line -- there are perforations in the infrastructure, and there are quite a few leaks. Words are getting around that should not be getting around, and secrets will be spilled. There is only so much you can do to ensure confidentiality about things that are already stated -- it is totally out of your hands. So instead, focus on prevention. Choose your words wisely and do not say more than you absolutely have to.
Yes, it may seems silly. but i absolutely believe in it.
i need something to believe in at the moment.
im still hungry.
whats wrong with me?
i havent been so hungry since a long time ago.
sigh. is it good or bad?
i think im going out for some fresh air.
i dont like to coop myself at home everyday.
its bad for health.
i wish to visit an orphanage and volunteer my help and time there,
but my friends think im insane.
nobody is willing to go with me.
sigh.
):
7:04 PM
Mayday(:
Mayday(:
hmm, 57 more minutes time and the church thingy will sound.
up till now,i still have not figured out whats the nice music that i hear every mayday at 12 nn.
i know it comes from the church nearby ( i think so ).
i love the music. it is quite short but it is nice.
mark is going away.
to thailand.
you know, i've been in the same class as mark and yet i dont really talk to him that much compared to the others in the same class.
yes, im ashamed of myself.
you'd have thought that four years in the same class would have helped to strengthen ties and create new ones among students in the class.
i guess it didn't work out.
im not the kind, really im not, who can casually go up to someone and try to strike up a conversation.
the only time i've been with mark , just him and me, if my memory serves me well, that would be the elias scrabble thingy.
and we met up and went there together.
Even so, the journey was a short one and neither of us spoke alot.
but yeah, he'll be gone for quite sometime from what i've heard.
he's got a property in thailand so he's staying in it while he's there.
most of the times, i feel bad.
people like george, mark, jason ( actually he doesn't really counts ) , and a few others - i dont really talk to them.
George - i've been in the same class as him since i think.. primary 4 or 5.
and yet i dont talk to him that much.
sigh,
im not good at building up friendship,
but i guess a conversation is a two way thing, so unless the other party is willing to open up and talk, there's no way for me to continue to babble as though he's interested.
im hungry. i think i'll make myself a sandwich.
hold on.
okay, god forbids me to make an egg sandwich.
there're no eggs left in the kitchen.
fine, peanut butter then.
although i dont really like the sticky spread and those " crunchy " nuts.
ciao for now~
P.S bon voyage to mark and his family. and oh yeah, cheryl too.
have fun! :D
up till now,i still have not figured out whats the nice music that i hear every mayday at 12 nn.
i know it comes from the church nearby ( i think so ).
i love the music. it is quite short but it is nice.
mark is going away.
to thailand.
you know, i've been in the same class as mark and yet i dont really talk to him that much compared to the others in the same class.
yes, im ashamed of myself.
you'd have thought that four years in the same class would have helped to strengthen ties and create new ones among students in the class.
i guess it didn't work out.
im not the kind, really im not, who can casually go up to someone and try to strike up a conversation.
the only time i've been with mark , just him and me, if my memory serves me well, that would be the elias scrabble thingy.
and we met up and went there together.
Even so, the journey was a short one and neither of us spoke alot.
but yeah, he'll be gone for quite sometime from what i've heard.
he's got a property in thailand so he's staying in it while he's there.
most of the times, i feel bad.
people like george, mark, jason ( actually he doesn't really counts ) , and a few others - i dont really talk to them.
George - i've been in the same class as him since i think.. primary 4 or 5.
and yet i dont talk to him that much.
sigh,
im not good at building up friendship,
but i guess a conversation is a two way thing, so unless the other party is willing to open up and talk, there's no way for me to continue to babble as though he's interested.
im hungry. i think i'll make myself a sandwich.
hold on.
okay, god forbids me to make an egg sandwich.
there're no eggs left in the kitchen.
fine, peanut butter then.
although i dont really like the sticky spread and those " crunchy " nuts.
ciao for now~
P.S bon voyage to mark and his family. and oh yeah, cheryl too.
have fun! :D
1:36 AM
For memory sake :)
For memory sake :)
i just recalled something very funny.
it came to me so sudden that i thought i better blog it down for memory purpose.
this incident happened while i was working at wintertime.
there's this boy who came into the shop with a bunch of friends.
this is what happened.
him: do you sell gloves here?
me: yeah we do. its over here. this way please.
him and his friends: lets go.
him and his friends: laughing
*trying on ski gloves*
me: this kind helps to keep warm better.
him talking to his friends: dont need buy so good one la. i come back also throw away.
he finally chose a pair of gloves.
him: miss, do you have a new pair?
me: * tired and too lazy to search* i thought you'll be throwing it away after you came back? so dont need new one right?
him: *stunned* i..i..
his friends: hahahahahas
him: okay i lose to you.
and they went to the counter.
his friends: thanks for the help, bye!
him: thank you byebye. * give that glum face*
okay i know i was kinda rude that time but i couldnt care less. i mean i was tired.
but it's kinda funny come to think of it.
its no way to treat a customer.
still, its not really any of my business now. hahas.
later.
it came to me so sudden that i thought i better blog it down for memory purpose.
this incident happened while i was working at wintertime.
there's this boy who came into the shop with a bunch of friends.
this is what happened.
him: do you sell gloves here?
me: yeah we do. its over here. this way please.
him and his friends: lets go.
him and his friends: laughing
*trying on ski gloves*
me: this kind helps to keep warm better.
him talking to his friends: dont need buy so good one la. i come back also throw away.
he finally chose a pair of gloves.
him: miss, do you have a new pair?
me: * tired and too lazy to search* i thought you'll be throwing it away after you came back? so dont need new one right?
him: *stunned* i..i..
his friends: hahahahahas
him: okay i lose to you.
and they went to the counter.
his friends: thanks for the help, bye!
him: thank you byebye. * give that glum face*
okay i know i was kinda rude that time but i couldnt care less. i mean i was tired.
but it's kinda funny come to think of it.
its no way to treat a customer.
still, its not really any of my business now. hahas.
later.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
6:40 PM
Nothing in particular.
Nothing in particular.
i fell asleep on the couch yesterday while i was reading a storybook.
i dont even know why, i dont even feel tired.
and all of sudden, i entered dreamland.
like most people, most of the times i cant even remember what i dream about when i woke up.
but if its something that is really significant to me,i'll definitely remember it.
so that tells me that the dream i had yesterday was of no real importance.
T_____________________________T
my inuyasha series is coming to a close.
im like 10 episodes to the finishing.
its so sad.
what am i going to do when i finished the entire series?
let me ponder.
i'll get back to you later
(:
i dont even know why, i dont even feel tired.
and all of sudden, i entered dreamland.
like most people, most of the times i cant even remember what i dream about when i woke up.
but if its something that is really significant to me,i'll definitely remember it.
so that tells me that the dream i had yesterday was of no real importance.
T_____________________________T
my inuyasha series is coming to a close.
im like 10 episodes to the finishing.
its so sad.
what am i going to do when i finished the entire series?
let me ponder.
i'll get back to you later
(:
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
8:33 PM
Standing on my feet.
Standing on my feet.
okays i slept at 4 yesterday,
there are quite some stuffs going around my mind.
but for some godforsaken reason, i cant remember them.
nevermind.
i woke up at 12 today, pretty late huhs?
i surprised myself too when i woke up and find the display on my phone showing 12nn.
its alright.
dont know what i'll do today, my feet ache.
cuz apparently, just to make this clear, i stand on my feet when i work,
not on my hands so i'll feel the aching in my feet.
every step i take is like walking on needles, pricking my soles and all.
it kinda hurts.
but i dont wanna stay at home all day and hog the comp,
so i guess i'll be going out but where?
" yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future. today is a gift, thats why its called the present"
(:
there are quite some stuffs going around my mind.
but for some godforsaken reason, i cant remember them.
nevermind.
i woke up at 12 today, pretty late huhs?
i surprised myself too when i woke up and find the display on my phone showing 12nn.
its alright.
dont know what i'll do today, my feet ache.
cuz apparently, just to make this clear, i stand on my feet when i work,
not on my hands so i'll feel the aching in my feet.
every step i take is like walking on needles, pricking my soles and all.
it kinda hurts.
but i dont wanna stay at home all day and hog the comp,
so i guess i'll be going out but where?
" yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future. today is a gift, thats why its called the present"
(:
10:46 AM
late or early?
late or early?
its 3 in the morning and i cant sleep.
so i decided to write a post instead.
between this post and the last,
quite some stuffs have happened.
wei ming asked again,
for the fourth time,
to be my boyfriend.
he used really chim words,
him : will you give me a chance to love you?
me : huhs?
him : i wanna be with you, will you give me the answer that i want?
me : im sorry.
eileen loo yi zhen appears to be offline.
i tld you thousands and thousands of times.
he will never ever be my cup of tea.
this suddenly struck my mind,
it's really random,
so please do not think anyhow okays?
just now,when joseph 24 leaned forward,
and was only inches to my face,
i got this feeling that he wanted to umm, kiss me.
but as i said, i moved back.
it made both of us so ashamed.
but i gues i did the right thing?
he is 24.
8 years older than me.
i dont know what im typing actually.
im tired but i cant sleep.
and my fingers just wanna continue typing.
eileen: stop! im tired!
fingers: wahahahas no way!
* continue typing *
oh my god i think im going insane.
i wanna eat chocolates.
so i decided to write a post instead.
between this post and the last,
quite some stuffs have happened.
wei ming asked again,
for the fourth time,
to be my boyfriend.
he used really chim words,
him : will you give me a chance to love you?
me : huhs?
him : i wanna be with you, will you give me the answer that i want?
me : im sorry.
eileen loo yi zhen appears to be offline.
i tld you thousands and thousands of times.
he will never ever be my cup of tea.
this suddenly struck my mind,
it's really random,
so please do not think anyhow okays?
just now,when joseph 24 leaned forward,
and was only inches to my face,
i got this feeling that he wanted to umm, kiss me.
but as i said, i moved back.
it made both of us so ashamed.
but i gues i did the right thing?
he is 24.
8 years older than me.
i dont know what im typing actually.
im tired but i cant sleep.
and my fingers just wanna continue typing.
eileen: stop! im tired!
fingers: wahahahas no way!
* continue typing *
oh my god i think im going insane.
i wanna eat chocolates.
9:15 AM
* VROOOM*
* VROOOM*
Here comes the man in his bike.
wow im so impressed.
pretty cool motorbike.
And it's really damn nice.
he fetched me home from work.
*vroooom*
the wind feels great, but i was scared.
he pulled my hand to his waist and told me to hold on there but i didnt.
im not that kind of girl.
i just kept my hands to his shirt.
thats the only thing i clung on to.
his shirt i mean.
at the end of the ride home,
he dropped me at my bus stop.
he helped me with the helmet,
and smoothed my hair so that its not messed up cuz i dont have a mirror.
and when he leaned forward,
his face only inched apart from mine,
something happened to my legs.
i shifted backwards automatically.
and shrunk back, behind the cool facade i have created for myself since a long time back.
i hope i did the right thing.
*sigh*
i dont wanna go into some relationships right now?
its hurtful.
to side track a lil,
im quitting my job at wintertime.
the job is monotonous and boring./
i guess you can confine me to the type that do not feel any commitment.
like im fickle minded or anything.
i dont care what you think of me
as long as im happy(:
and i am.
joseph ( i mean joseph tng ) and i.
we're at least talking.
not like last time, when we broke up and simply cannot chat.
it feels so much better now.
my life is taking a turn for the better>?
niki's birthday is coming, 3rd december.
daddy's birthday is 2nd december.
i dont know what to get for him.
i feel bad because for about 3 consecutive years i've been getting business shirts for him.
i wanna get something extraordinary for him.
any suggestions?
another thing,
wei ming, for the third time in his life, was rejected again.
okays i rejected him
i told you i dont wanna get into a relationship again.
not anytime soon.
i need more time.
besides, i really dont like him.
i dont like guys who:
1) play dota
2) force me to go to church
3)speak to me in chinese.
SORRY.
sorry im so choosy.
but im like that.
joseph tng - talks to me in english, is not someone who forces me to go to churches and i dont think he plays dota?
but thats all in the past now.
its okays,
and YAY! we are friends again.
im sooo happy.
im tired now.
i wanna go to bed.
but yeah you know i have to watch inuyasha right?
lol im so addicted.
wow im so impressed.
pretty cool motorbike.
And it's really damn nice.
he fetched me home from work.
*vroooom*
the wind feels great, but i was scared.
he pulled my hand to his waist and told me to hold on there but i didnt.
im not that kind of girl.
i just kept my hands to his shirt.
thats the only thing i clung on to.
his shirt i mean.
at the end of the ride home,
he dropped me at my bus stop.
he helped me with the helmet,
and smoothed my hair so that its not messed up cuz i dont have a mirror.
and when he leaned forward,
his face only inched apart from mine,
something happened to my legs.
i shifted backwards automatically.
and shrunk back, behind the cool facade i have created for myself since a long time back.
i hope i did the right thing.
*sigh*
i dont wanna go into some relationships right now?
its hurtful.
to side track a lil,
im quitting my job at wintertime.
the job is monotonous and boring./
i guess you can confine me to the type that do not feel any commitment.
like im fickle minded or anything.
i dont care what you think of me
as long as im happy(:
and i am.
joseph ( i mean joseph tng ) and i.
we're at least talking.
not like last time, when we broke up and simply cannot chat.
it feels so much better now.
my life is taking a turn for the better>?
niki's birthday is coming, 3rd december.
daddy's birthday is 2nd december.
i dont know what to get for him.
i feel bad because for about 3 consecutive years i've been getting business shirts for him.
i wanna get something extraordinary for him.
any suggestions?
another thing,
wei ming, for the third time in his life, was rejected again.
okays i rejected him
i told you i dont wanna get into a relationship again.
not anytime soon.
i need more time.
besides, i really dont like him.
i dont like guys who:
1) play dota
2) force me to go to church
3)speak to me in chinese.
SORRY.
sorry im so choosy.
but im like that.
joseph tng - talks to me in english, is not someone who forces me to go to churches and i dont think he plays dota?
but thats all in the past now.
its okays,
and YAY! we are friends again.
im sooo happy.
im tired now.
i wanna go to bed.
but yeah you know i have to watch inuyasha right?
lol im so addicted.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
6:17 AM
changed.
changed.
i changed my blog.
goodbye to the tagboard.
going to sleep now.
im beat.
goodbye to the tagboard.
going to sleep now.
im beat.
5:54 AM
shocking?
shocking?
i talked to joseph over msn today.
yes, joseph Tng.
lawl was he shocked when i said ," lets have lunch together someday"
maybe he still remembers i dont do lunches.
either that or he simply cannot understand why i'd ask him out.
jokingly, he asked me if it'll be a date.
.....
dont know what to say?
so i kept quiet.
watched enchanted today with a few others,
the storyline is predictable but its kinda funny.
end of my only off day.
another day of work at wintertime tomorrow.
last day with joseph 24.
~sighhhhhhhhhh
yes, joseph Tng.
lawl was he shocked when i said ," lets have lunch together someday"
maybe he still remembers i dont do lunches.
either that or he simply cannot understand why i'd ask him out.
jokingly, he asked me if it'll be a date.
.....
dont know what to say?
so i kept quiet.
watched enchanted today with a few others,
the storyline is predictable but its kinda funny.
end of my only off day.
another day of work at wintertime tomorrow.
last day with joseph 24.
~sighhhhhhhhhh
Monday, November 26, 2007
6:52 PM
-.-
-.-
im so dumb.
today is my day off from work.
and i woke up so panicky thinking i was late.
is it stress or what?
anyway i had a stupid nightmare about it too.
something about down jackets dropping all on me.
and i was suffocated.
what a wierd dream.
nightmare,
to tell you something really coincidental.
you'd never have imagine it.
i was surprised too.
remember i told you about the guy called joseph?
yesterday, i was so bored at work.
so i secretly used my phone to send messages.
i guess i typed in the wrong number or something.
cuz someone else replied.
and the person was... him.
SO FREAKY!
he's gonna struck lottery wednesday night.
a day of rest,
wonder what i'll be doing.
today is my day off from work.
and i woke up so panicky thinking i was late.
is it stress or what?
anyway i had a stupid nightmare about it too.
something about down jackets dropping all on me.
and i was suffocated.
what a wierd dream.
nightmare,
to tell you something really coincidental.
you'd never have imagine it.
i was surprised too.
remember i told you about the guy called joseph?
yesterday, i was so bored at work.
so i secretly used my phone to send messages.
i guess i typed in the wrong number or something.
cuz someone else replied.
and the person was... him.
SO FREAKY!
he's gonna struck lottery wednesday night.
a day of rest,
wonder what i'll be doing.
8:01 AM
third day ):
third day ):
third day of work.
im going to persevere.
wahahahahas.
i did the stock refill thingy today.
it was tiring.
really beat.
but still,i aint gonna waste time sleeping.
lol inuyasha is so exciting.
cant wait to watch it as usual.
joseph ; 24 , cute but leaving
):
tmr is my day off!
YIPPEE!
finally i look forward to a day of rest.
but i do hope i'll be able to go out and have some fun with my friends.
work = less leisure time.
thank you to daddy for fetching me home from work today.
it made a very huge difference to the number of episodes of inuyasha i can watch and also to my already aching legs.
(:
i love you!
im going to persevere.
wahahahahas.
i did the stock refill thingy today.
it was tiring.
really beat.
but still,i aint gonna waste time sleeping.
lol inuyasha is so exciting.
cant wait to watch it as usual.
joseph ; 24 , cute but leaving
):
tmr is my day off!
YIPPEE!
finally i look forward to a day of rest.
but i do hope i'll be able to go out and have some fun with my friends.
work = less leisure time.
thank you to daddy for fetching me home from work today.
it made a very huge difference to the number of episodes of inuyasha i can watch and also to my already aching legs.
(:
i love you!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
7:11 AM
wintertime.
wintertime.
second day of work at wintertime.
it was alright.
i felt so tired.
but i gotta continue you see.
it doesnt make a difference how much fun i have during the holidays.
however,it made a huge difference to my house bills.
1050 bucks.
the electricity bills,and all that.
JOSEPHs.
i seem to be so attracted to people by the name of joseph?
this guy at my workplace,
his name is joseph too.
he is 24 years old.
and he's flipping cool.
he wanted to send me home on his motorbike yesterday.
but i rode it only to the interchange.
ohmygod.
the feeling's so fantabulous.
so soothing, relaxing.
the caress of the wind on my face.
whipping my hair, and messing it up.
the butterflies doing somersaults in my tummy.
hmm, he's from ITE last time.
then he went to serve the NS.
and now he is at temasek poly.
wintertime is just his attachment.
he is actually a chef.
wow!
joel, xavier,niki and cheryl dropped by today.
i couldnt be any happier when i saw someone i know dropped by.
it made a difference(:
this job makes me sad sometimes.
i look at those rich people getting long johns,sweaters,and down jackets for their kids.
going to japan, hokkaido, USA, disneyland, italy korea.
i've never been to any of those countries that experiences winter.
felt a lil twinge of jealousy.
however, im not upset that my parents cant afford to bring us on an expensive holiday.
its okays, i do understand that we're not rich.
at least i have a shelter over my head, food to keep my tummy satisfied, and clothings to keep me warm enough.
i am content.
and i'll work to earn money.
23 more days to payday.
LOL.
it was alright.
i felt so tired.
but i gotta continue you see.
it doesnt make a difference how much fun i have during the holidays.
however,it made a huge difference to my house bills.
1050 bucks.
the electricity bills,and all that.
JOSEPHs.
i seem to be so attracted to people by the name of joseph?
this guy at my workplace,
his name is joseph too.
he is 24 years old.
and he's flipping cool.
he wanted to send me home on his motorbike yesterday.
but i rode it only to the interchange.
ohmygod.
the feeling's so fantabulous.
so soothing, relaxing.
the caress of the wind on my face.
whipping my hair, and messing it up.
the butterflies doing somersaults in my tummy.
hmm, he's from ITE last time.
then he went to serve the NS.
and now he is at temasek poly.
wintertime is just his attachment.
he is actually a chef.
wow!
joel, xavier,niki and cheryl dropped by today.
i couldnt be any happier when i saw someone i know dropped by.
it made a difference(:
this job makes me sad sometimes.
i look at those rich people getting long johns,sweaters,and down jackets for their kids.
going to japan, hokkaido, USA, disneyland, italy korea.
i've never been to any of those countries that experiences winter.
felt a lil twinge of jealousy.
however, im not upset that my parents cant afford to bring us on an expensive holiday.
its okays, i do understand that we're not rich.
at least i have a shelter over my head, food to keep my tummy satisfied, and clothings to keep me warm enough.
i am content.
and i'll work to earn money.
23 more days to payday.
LOL.
Friday, November 23, 2007
6:41 AM
haunted.
haunted.
oh hihi.
im gonna start work tmr.
remember long long time ago i filled in this application form when i went out?
it is the shop name called wintertime.
and yeah im working there
as in with effect from 24th nov'o7.
they do not have an hourly pay.
the monthly pay is 1050 bucks.
its quite okays la.
the branch that i'll be working at is at parkway parade.
not that far from my house,instead its quite near.
so i guess i'll be going for it?
had a major argument with my family members yesterday.
but in the end everything turned out fine
we have reached an understanding and agreement,.
so everyone went to bed with a smile on their faces.
but not me.
i was haunted by those memories.
like when my dad was like kinda lecturing me,
i felt so sad.
not by his lecture.
for some stupid reason, joseph appeared in my mind.
and i felt sad.
maybe more of lonely.
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
i think i'll work.
because this holiday is too long.
i'll have plenty of time and there's nothing to do.
what an irony.
i need a distraction, like work to occupy my mind.
and free me of all thoughts.
please just lemme forget ; please.
T___________________T
im gonna start work tmr.
remember long long time ago i filled in this application form when i went out?
it is the shop name called wintertime.
and yeah im working there
as in with effect from 24th nov'o7.
they do not have an hourly pay.
the monthly pay is 1050 bucks.
its quite okays la.
the branch that i'll be working at is at parkway parade.
not that far from my house,instead its quite near.
so i guess i'll be going for it?
had a major argument with my family members yesterday.
but in the end everything turned out fine
we have reached an understanding and agreement,.
so everyone went to bed with a smile on their faces.
but not me.
i was haunted by those memories.
like when my dad was like kinda lecturing me,
i felt so sad.
not by his lecture.
for some stupid reason, joseph appeared in my mind.
and i felt sad.
maybe more of lonely.
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
i think i'll work.
because this holiday is too long.
i'll have plenty of time and there's nothing to do.
what an irony.
i need a distraction, like work to occupy my mind.
and free me of all thoughts.
please just lemme forget ; please.
T___________________T
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
6:40 PM
...
...
heyheyhey!
i woke up feeling good today.
yesterday i had a fight with my mom,
and ended with us both crying and laughing at the same time.
it was a nice feeling.
i havent done it for a long time.
not since she started working.
im gonna go for some job interviews today.
life is kinda boring nowadays.
its not that i dont have time to play.
ironically, i got so much time,
that it seems so insignificant.
too much time to play makes eileen a dull and unhappy girl.
lol, gonna make some breakfast.
maybe toast a piece of bread.
and then i'll go watch my anime.
ciao~
i woke up feeling good today.
yesterday i had a fight with my mom,
and ended with us both crying and laughing at the same time.
it was a nice feeling.
i havent done it for a long time.
not since she started working.
im gonna go for some job interviews today.
life is kinda boring nowadays.
its not that i dont have time to play.
ironically, i got so much time,
that it seems so insignificant.
too much time to play makes eileen a dull and unhappy girl.
lol, gonna make some breakfast.
maybe toast a piece of bread.
and then i'll go watch my anime.
ciao~
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
7:36 PM
PROM
PROM
prom night 2007.
it was kinda fun,
though the performances are lousy,
the food is lousy
and the games are lousy.
but mingling with friends,
seeing them dressed so nicely,
it feels sort of fuzzy.
pictures?
joel and i
joseph and i
wei ling and i
miss denise tan and i
it was kinda fun,
though the performances are lousy,
the food is lousy
and the games are lousy.
but mingling with friends,
seeing them dressed so nicely,
it feels sort of fuzzy.
pictures?
joel and i
joseph and i
wei ling and i
miss denise tan and i
7:25 PM
freed.
freed.
hmmm, i think im free.
free from those times when i get all sad and weepy over someone.
and the last time i felt it was after prom.
the departure and all that was so sad.
but i have faith in keeping contacts with my friends,
so im not that affected.
i hope my friends will make an effort to keep ties with me too.
its just the same one person.
i dont think i will be able to still talk to you,
or to put it simply.
i dont think we can keep in touch.
its difficult.
because as you said,
it haunts you to be in my presence.
it so difficult to talk to you when you dont seem to want to reciprocate.
we aint even friends, thats the saddest part.
so lets just say i'll lock those bittersweet memories of us up yeah?
before that, i always had plenty of nightmares.
i had my dreams.
in my dreams, everything felt so damn right.
i got all i want, or desire.
and it felt so good.
the nightmares were when i woke up.
and realised that everything was just a dream.
and it kills me.
now, i still dream of the happy stuffs.
but when i wake up nowadays,
i dont feel that sad anymore that every thing's just a dream.
because i have already accepted the fate that god had in store for me.
yesterday, i brought back home with me,
jellybeans from cocoa trees.
and i gave them to my brother.
the look on his face was probably the thing that made me come to the realization that i had been neglecting my family and had centered my care selfishly on one person.
i felt horrible.
he was shocked, but happy.
i didnt mind him gobbling up everything.
because last time whenever he asked me for candy or chocolates,
i would not give him any.
it was because those candies or chocolates came from special someone.
i felt so selfish.
i need to care for my family more.
cheers to eileen.
she has been enlightened.
(:
free from those times when i get all sad and weepy over someone.
and the last time i felt it was after prom.
the departure and all that was so sad.
but i have faith in keeping contacts with my friends,
so im not that affected.
i hope my friends will make an effort to keep ties with me too.
its just the same one person.
i dont think i will be able to still talk to you,
or to put it simply.
i dont think we can keep in touch.
its difficult.
because as you said,
it haunts you to be in my presence.
it so difficult to talk to you when you dont seem to want to reciprocate.
we aint even friends, thats the saddest part.
so lets just say i'll lock those bittersweet memories of us up yeah?
before that, i always had plenty of nightmares.
i had my dreams.
in my dreams, everything felt so damn right.
i got all i want, or desire.
and it felt so good.
the nightmares were when i woke up.
and realised that everything was just a dream.
and it kills me.
now, i still dream of the happy stuffs.
but when i wake up nowadays,
i dont feel that sad anymore that every thing's just a dream.
because i have already accepted the fate that god had in store for me.
yesterday, i brought back home with me,
jellybeans from cocoa trees.
and i gave them to my brother.
the look on his face was probably the thing that made me come to the realization that i had been neglecting my family and had centered my care selfishly on one person.
i felt horrible.
he was shocked, but happy.
i didnt mind him gobbling up everything.
because last time whenever he asked me for candy or chocolates,
i would not give him any.
it was because those candies or chocolates came from special someone.
i felt so selfish.
i need to care for my family more.
cheers to eileen.
she has been enlightened.
(:
Monday, November 19, 2007
6:17 PM
hypocrite
hypocrite
im hypocritical.
i tell people to cheer up and stuffs over heartbreaks.
but i cant even do it myself.
Get Over It.
he's not even worth it,right?
i dont know.
i dont want to force myself too hard.
but the feeling just doesnt wanna go away!!!
i tell people to cheer up and stuffs over heartbreaks.
but i cant even do it myself.
Get Over It.
he's not even worth it,right?
i dont know.
i dont want to force myself too hard.
but the feeling just doesnt wanna go away!!!
6:12 PM
torn
torn
it makes me sadder.
to realise that all he ever wanted is some CASUAL FEMALE COMPANY.
how sad.
the relationship we had was bothersome.
and he felt tied down.
god.
i want to pull out my hair.
ARGGGGGGGGGG~~
if he feels so tied down,
then why did he ask me to go steady with him last time?
is he the selfish one,
or am i the one?
i dont know.
god!
*ROAR*
to realise that all he ever wanted is some CASUAL FEMALE COMPANY.
how sad.
the relationship we had was bothersome.
and he felt tied down.
god.
i want to pull out my hair.
ARGGGGGGGGGG~~
if he feels so tied down,
then why did he ask me to go steady with him last time?
is he the selfish one,
or am i the one?
i dont know.
god!
*ROAR*
4:48 PM
his ; mine and ours?
his ; mine and ours?
hello,
yesterday was prom night.
it was alright,
i didnt look very amazing but still i think i looked okay.
anyway,it was awfully depressing and upsetting.
from the beginning,i was already feeling sad.
and its not just because celine dion's "my heart will go on"
is playing in the background.
i miss him alot alot.
i see everyone with their partners and i feel so sad.
and then i looked at him and saw him happily there with his friends.
i mean im not angry because he is happy.
im just depressed yeah?
i took two photos with him,
and we were standing so far apart,
it was as though we were forced to take the photos.
why?
i miss him terribly.
during the time when everyone went to get their food,
i sat there with rasina,
suitcases of memories all coming back to me at once.
i wanted so much badly to cry.
just hide in a corner and wallow in my own misery.
but i didnt.
it would be stupid to because if i really did,
he'd just look at me incredulously like im some retard.
oh my god.
why has my life turned out to be like this?
this is not some teenage angst yeah?
i just wanted to get all these out of my chest.
do you know that i slept at close to 2 a.m last night?
and i woke up at 7a.m today,
because i dreamt of him and i cant sleep.
once i close my eyes, many images of us keep coming back at me.
it was such an unsettling feeling.
thus i thought of going for a run.
but,my leg hurts from walking in high heels yesterday so i gave up on the idea.
dont you think im so pathetic?
i always thought,
if i could turn back time,
will i still go steady with him?
will i even want to become an NE ambassador?
its also because of NE that we got so close.
but i guess even if time could be reversed,
i;d no doubt still take the same path.
because those things that we had shared and gone through,
they were like nothing compared to having only me just having the experience.
so i'd take the same path just to experience those things again.
i always had the fantasy,
that one day we'd be together again.
but then as i already said,
it is a fantasy,
a wishful thinking on my part.
i guess the feeling is no longer mutual.
and since we will never ever be together again,
i wish that he'd be happy forever.
because nothing matters much more than his smiles.
i'd pray for him, and for me too.
so,now that prom is done,
whats gonna happen to me?
like i said,
i've thought about this many a times,
and i couldnt come up with an answer.
should i take up a job?
i dont feel like adapting to a new environment again.
should i go for the first 3 months thingy?
i dont know.
i always said no,
because im scared that i might not make it for the real thing.
so,what am i gonna do?
i cant simply waste this holiday away slacking at home.
i dont know.
many things are swirling around my mind.
i just want to cry.
everything is ending for me.
my world is collapsing.
most of the times i get awfully lonely and solemn.
but all i want to do is to revert back to my old self you know?
like i always laugh and stuffs
now it seem to be so difficult.
many people keep telling me to look forward,
but yeah,im doing that.
its just that i've got nothing to look forward to.
guess i'll blog later.
im so tired.
yesterday was prom night.
it was alright,
i didnt look very amazing but still i think i looked okay.
anyway,it was awfully depressing and upsetting.
from the beginning,i was already feeling sad.
and its not just because celine dion's "my heart will go on"
is playing in the background.
i miss him alot alot.
i see everyone with their partners and i feel so sad.
and then i looked at him and saw him happily there with his friends.
i mean im not angry because he is happy.
im just depressed yeah?
i took two photos with him,
and we were standing so far apart,
it was as though we were forced to take the photos.
why?
i miss him terribly.
during the time when everyone went to get their food,
i sat there with rasina,
suitcases of memories all coming back to me at once.
i wanted so much badly to cry.
just hide in a corner and wallow in my own misery.
but i didnt.
it would be stupid to because if i really did,
he'd just look at me incredulously like im some retard.
oh my god.
why has my life turned out to be like this?
this is not some teenage angst yeah?
i just wanted to get all these out of my chest.
do you know that i slept at close to 2 a.m last night?
and i woke up at 7a.m today,
because i dreamt of him and i cant sleep.
once i close my eyes, many images of us keep coming back at me.
it was such an unsettling feeling.
thus i thought of going for a run.
but,my leg hurts from walking in high heels yesterday so i gave up on the idea.
dont you think im so pathetic?
i always thought,
if i could turn back time,
will i still go steady with him?
will i even want to become an NE ambassador?
its also because of NE that we got so close.
but i guess even if time could be reversed,
i;d no doubt still take the same path.
because those things that we had shared and gone through,
they were like nothing compared to having only me just having the experience.
so i'd take the same path just to experience those things again.
i always had the fantasy,
that one day we'd be together again.
but then as i already said,
it is a fantasy,
a wishful thinking on my part.
i guess the feeling is no longer mutual.
and since we will never ever be together again,
i wish that he'd be happy forever.
because nothing matters much more than his smiles.
i'd pray for him, and for me too.
so,now that prom is done,
whats gonna happen to me?
like i said,
i've thought about this many a times,
and i couldnt come up with an answer.
should i take up a job?
i dont feel like adapting to a new environment again.
should i go for the first 3 months thingy?
i dont know.
i always said no,
because im scared that i might not make it for the real thing.
so,what am i gonna do?
i cant simply waste this holiday away slacking at home.
i dont know.
many things are swirling around my mind.
i just want to cry.
everything is ending for me.
my world is collapsing.
most of the times i get awfully lonely and solemn.
but all i want to do is to revert back to my old self you know?
like i always laugh and stuffs
now it seem to be so difficult.
many people keep telling me to look forward,
but yeah,im doing that.
its just that i've got nothing to look forward to.
guess i'll blog later.
im so tired.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
6:55 PM
byebye damai.
byebye damai.
prom.
its just a night,
so why do people spend so much money on it?
besides,
all they look forward to is prom.
so,whatever happens to life after prom?
nobody knows.
4 years in damai,
gone forever.
lets walk the world round and seek our future.
its just a night,
so why do people spend so much money on it?
besides,
all they look forward to is prom.
so,whatever happens to life after prom?
nobody knows.
4 years in damai,
gone forever.
lets walk the world round and seek our future.
Monday, November 12, 2007
7:47 AM
Weiming ; sorry.
Weiming ; sorry.
he likes me.
wei ming wants to be my boyfriend.
but i rejected him again,for the third time in my life,
whats wrong with me?
todays my birthday,aint i supposed to be happy?
omg,i feel so rotten.
whats wrong with me?
i guess i just cant get him outta my mind,thats why.
stupid me.
GRRRRRR~
i want to scream.
wei ming wants to be my boyfriend.
but i rejected him again,for the third time in my life,
whats wrong with me?
todays my birthday,aint i supposed to be happy?
omg,i feel so rotten.
whats wrong with me?
i guess i just cant get him outta my mind,thats why.
stupid me.
GRRRRRR~
i want to scream.
3:14 AM
happy birthday to myself.
happy birthday to myself.
sighsighsighsighsigh.
today is my birthday.
12 november.
but i dont feel happy.
i thought you know,me being 16 and all,
i ought to think more maturely.
or act more maturely.
but its like im brooding over the past again.
im so stupid.
stupidstupidstupid.
you gave me chocolates today.
2 bars of them for my birthday.
i used to receive chocolates everytime a new 26 approach.
now i got 2.
but i dont want your chocolates,.
i wont eat them.
because it reminds me too much about you.
i dont like to have those memories when i cant relive them again.
its meaningless.
): ): ):
i've always wanted to have someone special-that someone.
to celebrate my birthday with me.
to share it.
too bad for me.
went to the reservoir just now.
sat there to think over my life AGAIN.
but i haven reach anything.
no consensus or conclusions.
sigh.
my life seem to suck huhs?
happy birthday to myself.
today is my birthday.
12 november.
but i dont feel happy.
i thought you know,me being 16 and all,
i ought to think more maturely.
or act more maturely.
but its like im brooding over the past again.
im so stupid.
stupidstupidstupid.
you gave me chocolates today.
2 bars of them for my birthday.
i used to receive chocolates everytime a new 26 approach.
now i got 2.
but i dont want your chocolates,.
i wont eat them.
because it reminds me too much about you.
i dont like to have those memories when i cant relive them again.
its meaningless.
): ): ):
i've always wanted to have someone special-that someone.
to celebrate my birthday with me.
to share it.
too bad for me.
went to the reservoir just now.
sat there to think over my life AGAIN.
but i haven reach anything.
no consensus or conclusions.
sigh.
my life seem to suck huhs?
happy birthday to myself.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
7:29 PM
Yew Hui's
Yew Hui's
hmmm,saw something rather funny.
mr phoa's homepage.
he looked kinda different when he was younger.
a lil less lumpy, a lil less nerdy.
but he still looks so kiddo-ish.
well,they say he got a blog.
wish i could find it too.
gonna catch up on my anime already!
write later!
(:
mister blue bear talked to me yesterday night.
in my dreams.
lame but ya know what?
it feels so real.
mr phoa's homepage.
he looked kinda different when he was younger.
a lil less lumpy, a lil less nerdy.
but he still looks so kiddo-ish.
well,they say he got a blog.
wish i could find it too.
gonna catch up on my anime already!
write later!
(:
mister blue bear talked to me yesterday night.
in my dreams.
lame but ya know what?
it feels so real.
5:02 AM
mister blue bear
mister blue bear
okay day.
not feeling that well.
6 more days. to birthday.
not looking forward to it tho,dunno why.
i love you,
mister blue bear!
<3
not feeling that well.
6 more days. to birthday.
not looking forward to it tho,dunno why.
i love you,
mister blue bear!
<3
Monday, November 5, 2007
3:37 AM
dilemma
dilemma
hmmm,today is ss and biology paper.
i think i screwed up both of my papers.
cuz i dunno i studied hard but its jus,
hopefully i can do well>
i dont really know.
life nowadays is like boring?
i study,come home,mug and mug and mug.
whole life is made up of mugging.
and for what do i work so hard?
sometimes i really dont get myself.
wish someone can really understand me.
like listen.
i dont need someone to like always say,
i'll be there for you always and stuffs.
i just want that one person to be just there when i really need someone.
and not when i need that someone who always tell me he will be there for me,he turns out to not be there.
its so hypocritical.
dont say you can be there for me when you know you cant do it.
i cant take too much blows you know.
im not as strong as you think i am.
hmm,birthday is a week away.
i know,
this year's birthday is the worst birthday ever.
its the most blissful thing to have your loved one with you on your birthday
sadly. not for me.
love the song built to last by melee.
im off now.
to bury my face in my pillow.
or maybe i'll go for a walk around the reservoir.
we used to sit there and chat and just look at the stars.
those were the days.
bittersweet memories,that is.
i love you, mister blue bear!
forever.
i think i screwed up both of my papers.
cuz i dunno i studied hard but its jus,
hopefully i can do well>
i dont really know.
life nowadays is like boring?
i study,come home,mug and mug and mug.
whole life is made up of mugging.
and for what do i work so hard?
sometimes i really dont get myself.
wish someone can really understand me.
like listen.
i dont need someone to like always say,
i'll be there for you always and stuffs.
i just want that one person to be just there when i really need someone.
and not when i need that someone who always tell me he will be there for me,he turns out to not be there.
its so hypocritical.
dont say you can be there for me when you know you cant do it.
i cant take too much blows you know.
im not as strong as you think i am.
hmm,birthday is a week away.
i know,
this year's birthday is the worst birthday ever.
its the most blissful thing to have your loved one with you on your birthday
sadly. not for me.
love the song built to last by melee.
im off now.
to bury my face in my pillow.
or maybe i'll go for a walk around the reservoir.
we used to sit there and chat and just look at the stars.
those were the days.
bittersweet memories,that is.
i love you, mister blue bear!
forever.