Sometimes you want that way for others but it's something you can't do if others want the same of you.

Isn't that the natural human nature kinda thing? Like say you expect someone to hand over his candy to you just because you said you want it doesn't mean you'll hand yours to him if he wants the same thing of you, right?

We are all selfish, but I hope I'm being selfish in a selfless kind of way. I know you don't see where I'm coming from, but I hope you'll let me, not because you don't care about me but because you recognize my efforts to improve myself. Maybe you won't agree with the method, but at least let me know you can see that I'm trying and tell me you'll help me overcome it.


I have too many things in my mind right now. My aunt, you being sick, my studies, my tuition assignment, your cousin, my health ... The list seems Neverending

为什么为了小事就要掉眼泪
好像有太多的事只能自己背



I don't feel tired. I'm too busy to be tired. I know you're very understanding of late, being there for me all the time when I'm so emotionally caught up with everything about my aunt. I can't help it. I'd do anything to get her back prim and proper in life it hurts so much to see someone so perfectly healthy so ravaged by disease even visiting her once or twice a day can't seem to make me stop the buckets of tears in the heart.


I know, I know all that.
Its precisely because I've seen her suffer so much that I realize that the most important thing is health. Because of you, I want to live longer and live healthy so that we can enjoy life together happily and I won't be a burden to you as well, so I've been trying my best to eat all my meals and I hope youve seen those efforts. And you have no idea how worried I am when I hear you're unwell and feel you feverish. I'm scared. I don't wanna lose anyone to anything ever again, and I'll try my best to protect all those around me.

And because I wanna be healthy; any actions that threaten my health immediately puts me to an awareness that I'll try not to do that again to render that kind of actions so I'll put extra caution and all.


I don't know how to say it. I'm not made for nice flowery words. I can only nag and be straight to the point. I'm bad at hiding it when I'm concerned and I suck at holding back my tears. But all of these, they are the truest of me that I bare to you in the hope that you'll try to embrace them. I hope you can understand that my speech is my way of concern and that I don't really know how to hide it when I'm upset so it shows all over my face.

I'm sorry.



I wish all these is just a bad dream of some sort and that none of this is happening. Or that this is just another one parallel world and I am actually just stopping by to survey this parallel world while I actually belong to another parallel universe where I'm happily holding your hands talking to a healthy you, my aunt is happily nagging to her son about studies and everything is just so much greener.


But that's only a wish. I need to wake up my idea



Iloveyou, there's no space to love another.