It was like the entire stretch of road ahead was empty. Litter on the floor, and the leaves on the trees looked ready to fall to the ground with satisfaction. Work was over for the day, and it was the same ol same ol, nothing much, rather, it was monotonous and there was nothing that could make it any more special than yesterday, or the day that would come. I walked along the once busy street, and felt the surge of loneliness creeping up on me, weighing it all down on my shoulders. The huge gust of wind granted the leaves their wishes, and they fell to the ground with glee, only to meet with the unfortunate fate of my sneakers, the sound of their fates turned to nothing but a tiny crunch. The wind blew cold, and i shuddered. I could remember many things then, as i stood there in a blank. I didnt think of walking, i stopped, and thought of the many things that had kept me away from the cold before. I could remember steady arms that held me, strong hands that sheltered me from the cold, from the rain, and above all, kept me away from the burden of sorrow. I could remember no loneliness before, and that could be why the amount of loneliness felt today was multiplied by a million folds, the weight of it all almost crumbled me. I stared at the sky, and i wondered, had the sky ever been so dark before? Like this black vortex, a bottomless abyss. I could remember once again, the smiley face that had brought me to the clouds, and now the mere thought of that smile can only bring me to my knees and make me cry.

I saw my bus in a distance, and i thought to myself ; there wouldn't have been any meaning standing here and waiting. Wait, was i even waiting? and if so, what was i waiting for? What was this hesitation all about? The bus lurched forward, and i decided to run. There was no point staying, but what were these tears about? I couldnt remember a single thing then, there was no answer in my head, and everything felt like a blur.

The bus was empty. I climbed onto a seat, and looked at the empty space all around. And i burst out crying as much as i want, the empty space my only companion.

I want my smile back again, and i'm not gonna want to crumble anymore. I decided that i won't wanna fall anymore, i won't wanna hurt again.

If nobody's gonna hug me, i'll just hug myself even more.
If nobody's gonna hold my hands and give me warmth, i'm gonna hold my own hands.

I was able to do it before, and i will be able to, today.

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