Many things happened at work recently, i wonder how to begin this post. But since i've already began it by penning down my thoughts on how i should begin this, then i probably should stop thinking of how i should begin it, and instead, continue from where i began.


In FPonline, there are many people there who only know how to save their own skin. They like to blame people, they like to push and shove all the burden to others, and they love denying. It's as if they earn their living denying their whole life away.


I hate it. I hate people like that. Besides, people there get paid, being a part time denial freak, coupled with a hypocritical and absurd facade. This is some serious shit. They think you dont know, they smile at you, and put on this mask. When you're not looking, they mercilessly plunge daggers of words into your heart, you feel the excruciating pain, yet you too, must contnue to smile and pretend it's nothing.


Seriously, they should get a prize, for being such cruel bastards, the ultimate prize should of course, be a one way trip to hell.



God, this is turning out to be some complain post, much as i hate to admit it, it really seems so. I try to tell myself it's fine, getting blamed for things i didnt do, and not being appreciated for things i did. Getting insults for things i try so hard at, and being stabbed for having a soft heart.



However, i'm glad to have most people on my side. The packer uncles there love me, i'm not bragging. It really touched me today, when i was just telling peiyan that some FP auntie outside scolded me, Uncle peter took a broomhead and said he'll beat her up for me. And the uncles were all rooting for me, i felt so touched. And my dearest pickers, who always always, never fail to show their best by picking faster, just because i got blamed for their slow pace.



Dad says, in order to survive, i should be fake to those who treat me just as fake. and be nice and true, of course, to the people who treat me likewise. I wanna be nice to everyone, but it seems impossible.



I know impossibility is just a reason, an excuse for me not trying. But i've tried. I'm not gonna be softhearted, ever, again. Fuck those, go screw your own lives.



I know, that even if someday, the whole world decides to stand on someone else's side, YOU'll still be there, with me. (:



Oyasuminasai.

Labels: i'm close behind