the truth is, it was such a painful feeling, and it still is. i can never forget the day when popo died. it was the first time i've seen someone dying right in front of my eyes, someone so dear. i didnt want her to die. she didnt want to die. and i cried so hard. thinking back on it at times, i still cry. i cry myself to sleep, cry on the way home from school, sometimes just sitting down in the canteen, classrooms, tears will well up. then i tell myself, i never want anyone to go through the same thing i had been through. i never want anyone else to feel this pain so hurtful it kills your purposes in life.

but i am so naive. today, when i heard a close friend telling me that her grandmother had departed this world, tears started rolling down my face immediately, but i cant show it, because it doesnt help if i cry when i am supposed to console her. yet i cannot forget the pain, and after she hung up, i started wailing my heart out. grandpa was so shocked, he came over and held me in his arms. i am so sorry. i heard her cry, and told her to cry, it is best to let it out. it breaks me heart to hear her cry, and i want to dash right beside her to lend her my shoulder.

i'll always be there for you. stay strong.


Thank you to you, who just let me cry. thank you.

Labels: please dont take away any more lives.