when you're sick, life feel as though it;s moving at an annoying slow pace. and falling ill on the first day of the month doesnt feel good, and it doenst feel right. Being sick, it ties me to my bed the whole day, when i could have made use of the time more wisely, like studying instead of just immobilizing myself there on the bed, checking my temperature, and sadly, checking my phone for any solace and company.

I hate to be alone when i am ill, because i'll always wake up amidst some dreams i have, dreams that are scary, making me break out in beads of perspiration, or dreams that are so sweet, it lingers and stabs me with a knife of longing, nostalgia, and wishing i could live them again. it is a scary thing, and in between all these, there is the immense guilt of wasting my time on the bed when im s'posed to be mugging.

this sucks, i feel terrible, physically and mentally.

And i didnt get to hear the chimes for mayday on 1st june.
1st june marks the end of 3 months since grandmother passed away.

June 7- we'll visit her grave, for the first and last time This Year, and then we'll have to wait for next year's festival, before we can see her again.

Please let me get well soon.

Labels: fallen and cant get up.