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Fat Hope && Skinny Love
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    Saturday, March 28, 2009 1:01 AM
    this is the 439th post,

    and i wont say that it is gonna be a nice and sweet post. First of all, before starting anything, i'll love to wish Yihao a happy happy birthday to you! Man dude, you don't have to welcome your birthday by typing such a long ummm, how do i put it, ummm long.. sad post. (:

    Anyway, today was napfa, and i did okay, a tad better than previous year, and i did feel happy. Until i sprained my ankle when i was on my way home, and i remembered i havent done my 2.4. This is bad.


    Putting that all aside, i have been thinking alot recently, and okay, i admit, i think alot, not just recently. I love to dwell long and hard, think deep about things around me, and you know, try to come up with some answers to the doubts posed by my self-conflictatory mind. To say that i have not reflected upon myself would be to live in self denial, because that is not axiomatic.

    I have thought hard about myself, and i have began to see why i am not making it. The one and only reason: it is the laziness in me. I do not have any qualms in studying when it comes to exams, but when it comes to tutorials and assignments, i give up a tad too easily, i refuse to burden myself into what i think i cannot solve, so i choose to give up, and this really just reflects how cowardly i am.










    I paused.
    Because i am starting to have doubts on what i just typed here all over again.
    Damn damn i am so disappointed in myself. The greatest disappointment being the fact that i can never get myself to admit to the fact that i am actually lazy. i am lazy. i am a sloth. i am a couch potato.

    this isn't making me feel any better )':

    My nose bled on the day before the napfa and it wasnt the first time that this had happened, the first time being just a few weeks ago. My health seems to be deteriorating. I need to take care of myself. I want to rest at times when i am not supposed to. you see, i dont know what or how i should do to juggle all these.

    i am tired. very very tired.

    I feel like giving up already, but there is just this intrinsic ability in me: i always aim to work harder to compensate the things i cannot do. Though that is really making me very very tired.


    yihao, i thought of your cola today. the china cola. i regretted not drinking it.
    ):

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