Thursday, December 25, 2008
6:20 AM
Santa Claus is coming to town.
251208 A few more days and year 2008 will end. I'll try not to write anything sad since its christmas, but i really cant help feeling sad that i am going to have to prepare myself for a new year ahead, brace myself for any surprises, even if they are pleasant ones. Today is Christmas, so, yeah merry christmas to all. I can still remember myself celebrating Christmas, last year, working at Fairprice, similar to Gavin. Except, his is stocking up, while i was tokyo-drifting my trolleys here and there, ticking the orders on the lists. Ahh, those fun days and how much nostalgia i feel right now. Life is simply passing by so fast for me, i cant catch up. I really cant believe, and am not prepared in sitting for the A's next year. I do love my life,, sometimes. Anyway, today's christmas at Sunbeam children's home was splendid. It was the most memorable christmas i ever had, because i spent it with people around me. Like, i interacted with kids, sculpted balloons for them, and helped them draw spongebobs! I saw them having fun smashing the pinata, and them having fun eating candies and crackers. My heart was filled with joy and warmth, yet i kept silent. I was afraid of people laughing at me feeling that way if i spoke. Thanks to those Spartans who went with me and made this Christmas a memorable one! I managed to see Glen again too (the small boy in Sunbeam whom i took care of when we took the children to Sentosa!), and he remembers me! ( : *EUPHORIA* Thanks to Jodi and Careen for giving me Christmas presents! CHOCOLATES! my favourites! And i have been starving yet i don exactly feel hungry. As in, i have been skipping meals yet i dont feel like eating. Weird. Merry Christmas to you all out there. And Im gonna post my OSLE reflections down here, the Gift i gave miss darrell ( : You can skip it if you want to! (the stuffs here are sort of cliche) Reflections for OSLE 2008
I don’t really know how to begin, but really, just before I start on typing anything, I just want to confess that this will not be any fancy reflections, but simply, my heartfelt words. Some of these words might have been said during certain facilitation sessions, but there are also quite some of them that remain unspoken, so I’ll pen them down here.
The first thing I want to say here is something that was told to me, probably a million times over, and which I did not commit into memory, until I really totally experienced it. It is the cliché,” Do not take things for granted.” I was told by my mom how every single thing in life should not be taken for granted, over and over again, but I did not realise that. I couldn’t. Until I was there, especially during the first time Spartans gave out the balloons we made. The children fought, screamed, and did almost everything to just get hold of a balloon. It really made me realise how just one simple balloon can mean so much to people, when I can easily get hold of one, and burst it just as quickly. I was, some sort of, enlightened, and I really try hard not to take anything else for granted again. I was reminded of it, yet again, when the piñata was broken. I have been trying hard not to take things for granted ever since, even a small little candy, or pork floss.
The second thing I want to mention here will be something relating to friends. I remember confiding in Mr Lee, and telling him that sometimes I feel that when a close friend fails to play her part, I feel so disappointed. However, when someone, not as close, actually comes over, and maybe just gives a little pat on my back, I feel like I actually feel that the person is better. Mr Lee told me that it is because my expectations for my friends are kinda high, and I am not the only one. When that friend fails to meet my expectations, I get the sort of feeling like that friend has let me down. Yet, the other person who gives me a pat, I don’t have any expectations of her. So, when that person suddenly just shows me some concern, I feel like wow, this person is such a nice friend. Mr Lee told me to not expect so much after all, everybody will have their own expectations and their ways of doing things. We should not be too blinded by our expectations that we lose the big picture that is the friendship I have with my friends. Mr Lee’s words will always be etched deep in my memory.
I also want to talk about the can of cola Yihao got for me when he was allowed to go to town. I remember myself just whining to him casually, how much I need to get my daily dosage of soda, and then after a few days, he came to me and handed me a can of cola. I feel that sometimes, I just mention things casually. I never thought that my casual words will actually be remembered by someone, who will actually go to some extent to complete my wish. This is the most touching moment I have ever felt, and I can safely say that Yihao is an extremely thoughtful person. I know it is just a can of cola, but it really is him paying attention to what I say, him remembering it, and him trying to fulfil it, those are what counts. Sadly, I was unable to bring the can of cola back to Singapore, but it really is the thought that will count.
On a heavier note, speaking of the mentioning of casual remarks, I remembered an incident whereby Careen said something rude in the bus, but it was accidental. Seriously, we should really be mindful of what we speak lest we offend people without even us knowing it. Besides, we were in China, and it really doesn’t make sense to offend the people there unless we really don’t want to go home.
When I see the villagers, I feel that they are really poor. This should probably be not what I should feel, but I felt that they are poor. Yet, they live really happily. They are happy that they have pork to eat. They live a simple life, and they are not perturbed by the fact that they do not live a life of luxury. I suddenly saw myself as a spoilt princess. I have this, but I want more and more. From them, I learn the meaning of self sufficiency, and contentment. It is really easy to say, I will be contented with the things I have, but it is really difficult to put into actions the words I say. I still am trying to be contented with every little thing, every simple thing, like having a handphone and the whatnots I have with technology these days.
My mind is not organized, and it is very cluttered with memories of this trip, yet the most important that I have mentioned will be the cherishing of what I have, regardless if I like it or not. I have learnt a lot from this trip that is really hard to be put into words, and the things I learn will always seem to boil down to the same – Cherish and not take things for granted. I have seen, felt, and acknowledged the importance of friendship, the need for encouraging words, and the articulation of one’s thoughts. I have realised my strengths, which I would never have realised if i wasn’t given an avenue- I can draw well, and I am actually hardworking. I am also patient, and can be a source of encouragement.
Like what Eunice had said, we all definitely grew stronger after this trip. I am no exception. I can actually withstand the cold, and bathe in cold water despite the weather. I become more tolerant of the things around me which I do not like, and I am more willing to learn the things I do not know. I guess we have matured more after this trip, and I never expect myself to be feeling so.. Grown up.
I have come to know of the society I will only be allowed to enter when I enter the working world. The one Mr lee said, that is full of hypocrites and backstabbers. I am not referring to the Spartans when I mention this. When in China, Mr Lee often told me of the society of such people. I guess I should enjoy this society I am living in, when I still can, where almost everyone is naïve, or we turn a blind eye to things around us. And things can be settled easily over a cup of frappe.
I end my reflections here. I am grateful that I have gone for this trip, and the things I learn will always be etched deep in me. Thank you for the tangible and intangible things that I have been given during the trip.