Wednesday, June 25, 2008
5:23 AM
Now my heart's in two
Yeah, it definitely is, my heart. Torn into two. Crushed into a thousand pieces, scattered all about the floor. There are many ways that can tear you apart, one is love, and the other, to me , is my studies. suffered both, no wonder my heart's torn. Seriously, i really wonder what im doing in a JC already. I mug like crazy, and i have no life. And the sad thing? MUGGING DOES NOT PAY OFF. Really, trust me. I screwed up my chemistry paper today. I didnt really expect myself to do well anyway because chemistry is so not my forte, but you know, i mugged so hard, just so i can pass. Passing will suffice, and it can even make me gyrate in neon colours of euphoria okay. But nay, i wont be able to do it, i know it already. It's when you are doing the paper, and you go, shit, i dont know how to do, but just anyhow do, so at least can get some marks. Yeahs, thats the kind of feeling, and you walk out of the exam hall, feeling uber destroyed. And knowing that GH will scold you with sarcasm till you cringe, roll over, and die. It used to happen to me last time, for her assignments and tutorials, and someone will tell me something and i'll feel encouraged. Nevermind BOO, im talking nonsense. Chocolate rush. My throat is dying. It's on its brink of death, and its yelling out to me, to stop consuming chocolates. Seriously, i need to eat chocolates. Take it that its a form of pamper, i have one more paper left to go, and its Mother tongue, and i just found out, that my A levels mother tongue oral is on this coming friday. Shit shit shit. my chinese is so bad, the highest i ever got in JC had been 60. Oh no. And i cant pronounce so many things! And i remember that time we had a trial oral, and Wu lao shi told me that i need to expand my vocabulary, because the number of wrong words i had read was like, seriously, too many. Shit, really. Why is there no english oral in the JC education system of cosmopolitan singapore? SIGHS. still feeling sad over my chemistry, but i guess, i wont mull over it. move on. I dont have any papers tomorrow, so yay! i dont have to go to school. oh yeahs. just now haniffa and i went to toa payoh NTUC to meet our friends who worked with us last time at Paya Lebar NTUC online. They are still the same crappy people, and we hung around and joked and laughed. I think, i'll never ever live by an hour without laughing. Nisha is still as crazy, and well, you can say, sambal chicken-ish and boob-y. * winks* It had been fun, and i just reached home not too long ago. I realised, every wrong that i did, every mistake, i should not look at it on the bad side. I need to make mistakes, just to learn who i am, i dont wanna be protected from anything harsh, because, if i am, the one who'll lose out in the end, is me. So, we just need to stagger back up, and plant your feet on the ground even when we fall. Times like this, its better to stay strong and not do stupid things like cry. CRYING IS A WASTE OF TIME. Anyway, i wanna go now, to watch some funny videos haniffa introduced to me, and well, probably sleep early tonight or something. Goodnight people. And i guess, the person i mentioned in my previous post, who i've been distancing, i guess, he saw my previous post. Im sorry, i hope i hadnt hurt anyone. Encouragement-ed? " You'll breeze through tomorrow because you've got my support...." Sighs.