ooops, lets change that above title to asshole. haha, anyways, i told you yesterday that, nopes, this morning at 4 plus that i came to know of something, which made me feel easier, to give up everything. actually, there really isnt anything much in the first place, i couldnt believe i fell for those stupid lovey dovey words. when i came to know of it, my first reaction, it wasnt sadness. When i knew about it, i didnt even feel shocked, as though i kinda expected it.
lol, although my first reaction was stupidity, and how dumb i actually was. or had been. But a fool for a moment is better than a fool forever(: thank you to all those who cares about me, i should not, and i cannot name you, except, karen! thank you for supporting my decision, and keeping me sane, as well as listening to me! Singles unite! We shall live a high life together. many loves to the power of infinity too.
And thank you master piano mster! aka yuanxin, for saying you'll be there for me always. And you asked me why he's like that? lol, i dont even know. Yeahs, like you say, black heart guy ( literal translation from chinese? ) hahas. i have got really caring friends.
I slept at 7 plus last night ( or morning), was talking on the phone. thanks to that someone who kept me company, and i will remember the promise i made. actually, thanks to you, i really got very composed, and very much, settled. and omg! i woke up at 10 plus! what the hell is wrong with me? but i know why i couldnt sleep. i had to blog, and do something important which i should have done a long time ago. Gotta thank sister too, for giving me all the support!
This is my blog, so everything i blog here is what i wanna blog about, nothing hidden. I WANT A BREAK UP. BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
anyways, phew, yeahs man, got that out. i sent you a message, and it goes like this, " lets break up. you're with hueiminn now anyways, so have fun. thank you for all the lies." And i actually feel this sense of, hey eileen's back kinda feeling.
I feel good.
And you know, whenever in msn conversations, i'll not talk about joseph, and you're the one who constantly brings him up? Saying how much i hugged tatty, and how much i talked about him. the fact is, yes, i do hug tatty alot, but i have never even brought up anything of joseph.
And its not that he's not good enough. At least, he doesnt lies, he may not " be a graduate of YFC" , he may not play piano, but he's got his own talents too. and thats for the others to judge too. Im not taking sides, you mention about yueli alot. Dont even get me started, like how beautiful she is and stuffs. what a pity she has got Body Odour then. ha ha.
Oops, eileen, what comes around goes around, dont do onto others what you dont want them to do on you. and similarly, this applies to you too. dont lie or deceive people, one day, it definitely will happen to you. Karma, believe in it.
Its just sad, how you dont mention, or give due attention to hueiminn instead of that skank, nopes eileen, no obscenities! yups, blogging this, i actually feel kinda tired. should i go back to sleep? anyways, you told me over msn, that many guys revolve around me, but your pettiness made you such a narrow guy, they are my friends, and dont be jealous i've got such great friends, you'd have too, at least, i believe everyone will have, if they dont cheat or lie that much. and you said , 12 months = 12 guys, a guy for a month. you know, i put that as my msn personal message, that im not a whore? well, and you said i should have put my number right there too so that people can start calling me , for services? well, why did i remember this? because i know im not that low class. like your ex ex. I was insulted, and let me tell you this again, i dont live my life a courtesan, in nicer words. whores are meant to be used to describe the likes of her. i dont need to, and i dont have to. and i wont. i love myself enough to cherish me.
And oh yeahs, im not distracted from my studies (: i promise daddy and mommy that i'll work hard, so yeahs, i shall. and even if this mid year, i dont do well, i know i tried my best. Im not gonna retain in JC, i'll pass, and then i'll go to a U, and from there, life continues.
Nono, from here, life continues. (:
Because if you think im the eileen you know, then you know im not someone who gives up because of a setbacks. And the reason why i choose to take this path, is because i simply, cannot CANNOT, be with someone who lies. who cheats. god, that is totally absurd, incredulous even. I'll never be able to constantly wonder if what you're saying is true or false, it'll make life very difficult!
And talk about being hypocritical, the one who puts " why are you so full of lies?" in his msn personal msg, i guess he can leave that line for himself. and i doubt he can even find an answer.
I know alot of people care for me, promises to make me better with stars and all and planes, muahaha, i'll be alright people. This time, it is not a facade, everything seems to feel so easy, i am okay. Eileen loo yi zhen is back !
Studies progress?
Maths - practiced up till graphing techniques - kinda scared cuz maths is one of my weakest subject, but i'll be meeting up with Rasina and she'll teach me! thanks girl! and no, i wont eat chocolates, throat's bad !
Chemistry- i finished revising for chemistry in the first week of june holidays, but i'll recap everything on the day before the exam, hopefully, i dont like screw up, cuz chemistry is something i hate too! haha.
Biology- Hmm, i love biology, but its like so much to memorise man! im left with homeostatic mechanism part 2, and respiration! i can do it! (:
Literature- i dont know, seriously, to me, literature depends on luck. if i can understand the poems, then i'll be able to write! i havent studied, will study lit together with rasina in the library (:
Chinese - god, dont get me started on chinese. i havent started, but thats alright. i think a day before the exams leave me enough time to mug!
Anything else? i guess that shall be about everything. i shall go and mug now. Like what ... told me - turn negative energy into positive energy! and dont be distracted! bleahs!
Again, good morning people, i just spent 40 minutes of my life, doing the stuff i should have done, a long long time ago. hahas.
Continued : you replied. you said you werent back with her, ha, Right, with a capital R. and i didnt assume. And your reason for your behavior this days was? i didnt value and treasure you much. since thats so, then whats the problem? end it then. And your second reply: yeah, you two agreed to be together. lol, it really seems contradictory. stop spinning another web of lies. Im not a kid anymore. so grow up boy, to think you're even a year older and you lack such immaturity.
Lol, joseph, at a time like this, i cant believe i actually laughed when i saw what you typed in Msn. good day folks.
P.S. thank you weiying, who dedicated that paragraph to me. Thank you. I appreciate it..