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Fat Hope && Skinny Love
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    Saturday, June 14, 2008 12:06 PM
    Happy fathers' Day

    DADDY I LOVE YOU!
    Yes, i do i do i really do.

    Happy daddys' day to you!

    Okays, its 306 am now, so, happy birthday to Ms veronica Tan too! god bless ya!
    Anyways, i just watched the movie - holes.

    It was on channel five, and i watched it together with my sister. thanks sister! for watching it with me (: and yeahs, the show is really touching and nice and all, all about digging holes and learning lessons, though you all wont actually know what im talking about unless you all watch it.

    So, end of that. Now my sister's watching american Inventors on channel five as i blog, but im watching it too. and its really funny, especially when a granny brought in, paper bought from the supermarket, and acknowledged that as her invention, and the judges had no choice, because she was so persistent and "sweeet" that they gave her a "yes". haha, really made my siblings and i laugh until our sides ache,

    And you know connie Talbot from the american got talent? Yeahs, i think she's great, go youtube or google her, im sure you'll be impressed by her singing talents.

    Moving on, i went to meet Wei ling, and we bus-ed down to meet Gavin and ziguang. We watched the incredible hulk! 0.0 I think it's quite good, in fact, to me, almost all movies are good, because they are the producers' and the actors' hard work. I dont watch certain movies only because i dont have interest in them, not because i think they're not good. And so, incredible hulk's really good, kinda like in spiderman! And i was like eating chocomint ( you know that small green minty rice chocolate? ) yeah, absolutely love that. I still remember the times when you gave me those, 'twas sweeet memories. Sighs.

    Then they wanted to have supper, but i was feeling quite tired, so i hopped onto bus 60, and went home. gavin and ziguang joined in too, wei ling went home! so, i reached home, read through some chemistry because tong pei didnt understand certain stuffs. I taught him some stuffs, and i felt happy because i was able to be of help (: enthalpy - eeew, i really hate that topic, but well, no choice!


    And ha, a hundred stars!

    After that, like i said, i watched holes. and now american inventor.

    I am tired, but i cannot sleep, and that is kinda sad. no, i feel sad. People tell me that i should just let go of certain things, or people, that have to be let go. i dont want to. it'll really hurt. Tonight, i stared at the night sky, and i did not see any stars. The beautiful stars, made invisible by the grey clouds.

    The night sky's just like love to me. I came up with this analogy while walking home after i left the bus. So, yeahs, the night sky will be the guy you love. sometimes, you get angry at that person because of his or her flaws. and i guess the flaws will be the clouds. and the stars, you may have guessed - will be the beauty of the person - the good things. Sometimes, or most of the times, we notice the clouds, because they appear so significant, they're so big, they cover the stars. But that doesnt mean the sky doesnt have stars, that doesnt mean the person does not have the good in them just because they appear to have manifest their bad sides more - the clouds. So you know, when you love the night sky, you gotta appreciate the fact that in that piece of sky, there'll always be the stars and the clouds.

    similarly, when you love someone, you know there'll always be the flaws and the goody bits in them. Why focus on the huge and apparent clouds - probably numerous - when you can look at the pretty stars?

    Anyways, i am in no position to comment. im not a professional in this aspect called love. Im just someone with my own thinking, and you know what's in my mind now? i think, im true to myself, just, i really want you to be happy.

    Sometimes, when you want someone to be happy, you go all out to make him or her happy. And sometimes, when doing so, you lose yourself. you become someone you .. dont really know.

    It happened to me.

    I just wanted you to be happy, so much so, that i become the eileen who pleases people, the one, who forgo-ed her own personality. I never used to be the one to do all these. And i cant change myself.

    SIGHS.

    Nevermind, you all wont understand anyways. some 30 years down the road, i'll be reading this, and i'll laugh and say , " eileen, how silly you are to feel this way!"

    but right now, no, i dont feel silly.
    I feel really sad.

    And just a couple of months ago, there used to be just that one person, who told me " smile eileen, although some people may not appreciate that you got a prize , i do! you are appreciated! "

    And there used to be this person belting out Jay chou's an hao - the lyrics, as a form of conveying a message to me. Really sweet.

    The nostalgia these days when i board buses. Sighs.

    Its 339 am now, and my sister's going to bed. My brother's still watching the invention thingy, and i guess, i shall stop blogging.

    Good morning people.