Im so fed up. My PI is due tomorrow, and i havent done it yet. truth to be told, i know the first part of the question, i have done the first part. It's the second part, the planning of a journey for students of my age and blah blahs. That is the part i dont know. HOW? It's due tomorrow, and oh my god, i think im gonna have to burn the midnight oil tonight again!
I was terribly depressed yesterday. Again, i'll like to emphasize that im not always sad. It just happens. Or maybe my blog is the only place where i can freely type in my feelings and emotions. So thats probably why you'll read more on the sad parts of my life than the happy parts.
I did something i shouldnt have done yesteday, and i totally regretted it. I thrown something of real importance to me in a fit of rage, i didnt really throw it down the chute, i threw it into the bin. I was about to go and pick it up from the bin when i saw that the bin was cleared, it was emptied into the chute by my grandfather.
I can appear that i dont care. But it my heart, all these hurts. I was reprimanded by my parents again at the messy state of the room. They screamed. They shouted. But all this, they're not important anymore. Because i've just lost something i shouldnt even have lose in the first place. Because i can have it with me all my life.
It was that moment of anger. Fury, or maybe even madness. Yes, i do regret. But i dont see the point. Because it just wont be there anymore.
I hid under my duvet and hugged my bear to sleep. It was a crazy emotional rollercoaster ride under that peaceful duvet. What a paradox, nobody realised, and actually i guess, nobody cared either. I fell asleep, waking up at certain intervals to reply someone's messages.
they were comforting. thank you for being always there actually. You know, you;re the first person i seem to tell all my troubles to. Almost always. THANK YOU THANK YOU. And im so sorry i didnt reply promptly. I was asleep and truthfully, i cant really recall what i've sent.
Now, im so tired. My shoulders are stiff from all the research im doing for PI. And my eyes are turning watery. I think i'll go catch a power nap of a few minutes.