Hellos! today is a very sad day to me. this is because im reminded of what happened. On 14th October 2006. The day i ran out of the lan shop crying. the day i rejected the yellow mee. the day i cried so much. the day i..first held his hand.
Oh my god. The stupid school just had to hire those stupid trainers from project vibrant colours to come and stupidly give us a stupid training. I was in the midst of that training when they started to tell us to close our eyes and listen to a song. It then struck me that hey! this is PVC! I was hoping so much that the song wont be love me by collin raye, but unfortunately, it is. And then everything sank in. real bad. When the song was playing, those suitcase of memories just came back, and the whole day ( 14th oct) just played back in my mind.
During break time, i went to the stupid trainer and said ." hey i've been to this training before. It's PVC right?" and the stupid guy said, " yes, but i encourage you to participate in this with a very open mind." WTF/ On top of all that, i am sick. Really sick. This morning, i had a cold, fever and sorethroat, as i ate so much chocolates the day before. Came afternoon, i didnt feel that feverish, but the blocked nose and stupid sorethroat is enough to make me wanna just go home and rest. But i persevered on.
Then they played the resilience game. 3 people have to be the blockers, and then one person has to push. The blockers will act as your obstacles, preventing you from reaching your goals, while the pusher, well basically, just push to reach to her goals. There'll be two supporters too, the supporters will act as the good voice in the pusher's mind, ( in case you haven't realise, you're actually constantly talking to yourself the entire time. ) and the blockers - the bad voice in the pusher's mind. So, the girl in the next team, she kept pushing her way through, and i was the supporter, so i was egging my teammie on when that girl pushed me, and i twirled on my right leg, till my ankle swelled. It hurts, and throbbed badly while i limped home. I think some liniment will do the trick so no worries there, if you are.
Then the last game just made me fking pissed. Each person has to go up the table and just keep blabering about your goal. The people below will listen and sometimes, jeer at the peeps on top, about how they'll not make it. Then, the people below will have to give feedback, like whether you think the speaker's goal is real or not. And that part made me angry. Because, who are we to judge whose goals are real or not? Who are you to even try to sway them away from their track to their goals? it just felt so mean and so superficial. EEEW.
this course sucks. Maybe its because my thinking is biased because of THAT incident. SIGH. I dont wanna go back to the course. I dont want to be reminded. I just want to sleep.