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Fat Hope && Skinny Love
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    Saturday, February 9, 2008 6:59 AM
    Paranoia

    " It's not your problem , it's mine"

    I admit it. It really is me. It was alright at the reservoir, I'll be really frank here okay?
    During the whole time there, i was really thinking about many things.

    I started feeling sad since this morning, when dad kissed me on the cheek before he left for hong kong. I already felt like crying then, but i was tired, and he told me to go back to sleep.

    Which, i did. But i woke up several hours later to meet you for a walk round the reservoir. Yeah, you guys may be wondering why we walked instead of ran, but, its really because i was too tired. And i still am, no doubt.

    The whole time at the reservoir, i was wondering why i didnt see the body of blue water gazing back at me at its prettiest. It didnt even look pretty. Which, really puzzles me.

    Since, the place i really frequent when i am sad, will be the bedok reservoir. And i really do think that the body of water is amazing from all sorts of angles.

    Maybe i really am wrong.

    I was even stupid enough to sms-ed you, " do you feel anything lacking between us"
    From which you replied "no".

    I felt like a complete retard. Sure i knew i had hurt your feelings.
    Blame it on me. I am straightforward.
    Or maybe i really just dont like to bottle up anymore.

    After that, i talked to my sister and Zul, praying for some words of wisdom, which, they no doubt provided me with plenty.

    To which, i was glad. Thank you.

    I really was enlightened. Repeating the first line of the post " It's not your problem, its mine"

    The problem lies with me.
    I really cant compare the first time and the second time.
    Because obviously they will be different.
    Maybe the reservoir really didnt look ugly,
    Maybe it just looked different this morning , because i had viewed it with a different person.

    No, im convinced. It wasn't ugly.
    It was different.

    Im done with this post, and at the moment, im unsure if i should even post it.
    But i figured that i shouldnt hide anything, since its my blog, i guess, im going to put it down.

    I'll conclude this post with a goodnight to everyone and a sorry to tianseng.


    Mood : Momentary sadness.
    Give me some time to cheer up.