O level results will be released on the 25th of January? it seems awfully fast, im afraid im not prepared for whatever that fate throws in my way. Many thought swirl in my mind, and i dont know why but this image of me crying on the day the results is released spooks me. alot alot. And i cant seems to shake it off my mind. My mom tels me it could be due to stress, so imaginations run wild. Maybe im so used to being pessimistic? Always thinking of the worst so i wont be disappointed when i really do badly. Anyway, why should I feel scared? Does receiving bad results means the end of the world? i dont know, there can always be many possibilities, but i hardly ever think of what will happen if i really do, real bad. i rather not think about it, somehow cross the bridge when i come to it. right now, maybe i ought to just enjoy this limitless freedom i have, and do whatever that makes me happy. i'd also like to say how i kinda dont really talk to some of my close friends nowadays. its like we've drifted apart, have we, really? one example will be berlisa. She never even bother to msg me or talk to me now. i know, you people are gonna say, why not take the initiative and talk to her? hmm, think of berlisa. she's this really BUSY person, like what i heard from her boyfriend. even if i really do take the initiative, she'll probably be busy either " working or going out with her boyfriend" ( quoted from her boyfriend) , yes, she may reply, but it could be a half-hearted reply. i dont know. she has time for work, and boyfriend, and no time for friends. what does that mean? Its as though we each have our own lives now, and will never ever be entwine in any ways already? and i dont even know she is going steady with "him" until he told me. kinda sad right? and we used to share almost everything. sigh. maybe we just aint meant to last forever.. i guess i expected this to happen, but i never thought it'll happen so fast.. or maybe im just naive, thinking that friendships do last, because ultimately, the fool gets all the disppointment and heartaches..