Sunday, September 2, 2007
1:40 AM
deprived of freedom.
im so tired, woke up at 9 today, and started mugging like hell, lol i guess nowadays my blog posts always start with im so tired, hahas, i just checked through all my mails,and i saw the mails he sent me last time,and i wanna cry man. especially the last mail, and he said that after we broke up,when he do think of me,its a mixture of feelings like irritation and FREEDOM. so he was deprived of freedom when we were together is it? that is really sad. the blue bear keychain he got for me from berlin,it broke): *sobs* my mom told me to throw it away. its tattered and it has fallen off for the 3rd time already. nevertheless,i told her to fix it back,and she sew it back for me. how can something like this happened to me? what wrong things did i do to deserve all these shit you give me? you gave me heaven then took it away, was that how it's supposed to end? its your individuality and freedom that matters most? how selfish can you get? but i cant seems to hate you. im so fucked up. *SCREAMS* i dont wanna throw all the things you give me away or delete all the mails you have sent me. last time when i deleted all the sweet msges saved in my handphone away,i cried so much. regretted it but i couldnt get them back already. i've lost you and in the midst of grieving i've also lose my personaility and happiness. you make me lose almost my everything.