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Fat Hope && Skinny Love
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    Saturday, September 15, 2007 6:53 AM
    Angst.

    guess i needa blog to vent.
    VENTVENTVENT
    i was disallowed from eating chocolates.
    i dont care tho.
    i went and bought chocolates with all that i can spend.
    and i ate them all.
    i'll get the worse sorethroat ever.
    but i dont care already.
    why must people always think the worst of the good intentions of people?
    why cant they just live and let live.
    if people are kind to them, why should they think of it as a motive?
    why cant they just take it like that?
    why cant they just acept it and return the kindness?
    why must they doubt these actions?
    WHYWHYWHY?
    this world is so filled of hypocrites and liars.
    those plastic faces and green eyed monsters.
    i dont know.
    i hate myself.
    because sometimes i find myself blending into that world.
    of liars and hypocrites.
    i dont want to be like that.
    why cant we just be truthful and outright with our feelings?
    its because the truth hurts isnt it?
    im a liar.
    for putting on a facade every single time.
    every single time i see you.
    pretend to be happy.
    whats the point?
    dont wanna bring my friends down with those sad faces.
    gotta hide them.

    sometimes,probably because my family dont empathise with me.
    they dont even care about how i feel.
    i know they are bothered by the financial problem at home
    but i got my own problems too you know.
    they dont even care about how i feel.
    they just order me around. this that this that.
    ever wondered why i dont wanna study at home,
    or CANT study at home?
    im so ordered that i just cant have that lil space i deserve to study.
    i dont wanna lead an orderly life.
    SO QUIT ORDERING ME AROUND!
    wanna watch maid in manhattan.
    WAS DISALLOWED.
    cuz those bastards and bitches opposite wanna watch CHINESE NEWS.
    goddamn it.
    why watch news?
    so you can derive pleasure,SADISTIC pleasure from the accidents happening around the world?
    im sick of playing the good girl.
    i just wanna be myself and have some space.
    is that too much to ask for?
    its not that these cost alot you know/
    hey, try to undestand.
    im skipping lunches everyday to save money.
    isnt that enough?
    if it isnt, what is?
    dont drive me to that corner.
    bummer
    .